What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

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Women's football

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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AVB

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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