Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Where is my tractor?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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Penis

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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