Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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Women's rights.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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No. Yes.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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