If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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