What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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K

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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