Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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what did the jaguar and the girl have in common? Spots, the girl had the chicken pox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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