Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

Nobody cares.

Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

what colour is a frog green you idiot

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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