What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

Homework.

Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

whats white and gooy liguid goop

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

The 13th Amendment...

When life throws you lemons, duck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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