what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Which one is hardest?

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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a korean guy robs a black guys convenient store!

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Black Veil Brides.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

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marshal sterio had sex

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Penis

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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