Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's better than sex? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -36

GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I have a crush on my dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops