Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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Hey

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops