Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

Penis.

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

96

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

25

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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