what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

What is your favorite joke? I like bar jokes. Okay knock knock Who's there? A bartender A bartender who? A bartender walks into a bar but before he went through the door, he decided to knock on the door because this lame joke is so random.

Black people. They are so kind.

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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