On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops