How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Christians pornstars.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Sorry boss

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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What abou three times

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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