what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was danielle so fat? She can't help her bad genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the child step on a ball?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Who's there? Hurry up, let me in! Hurry up, let me in, who? *gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops