don't look behind you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is worse than hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops