Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

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22

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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