What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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potatoes

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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