What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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stop it ryan vallee

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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