I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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