How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Dick spice

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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