The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

Good.

The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

whats brown? poop.

knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

what's red and blue? your heart

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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