Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

Joe Biden

What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

kiss me?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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