Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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The horse said "nay."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Women's rights.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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9/11/2001

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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