What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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Rebecca Black

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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I like to eat people

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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