Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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