A black guy with his family.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Chuck Norris

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What do you get when you mix a fox and a sloth? a..FOTH

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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HTML

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Enchilada

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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