- Anti Joke

What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

What's 1+1? Window! Just kidding it's 2.

I can Nazi

A fat boy walked into a party

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

Three blondes walk into a community college.

Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

¿melano?

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

Don't think of granny porn

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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