Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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1234 5

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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knock knock

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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hey.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Your mother is so old that she is dead.

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LOL May Wong

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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