A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Hey man have you ever seen Stevie Wonders house? ... Neither has he

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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