What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Banana wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

47

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops