Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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