What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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FAP

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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Q: what is man without a beard A:not a man

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Asians

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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OBAMA

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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