A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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How do racist jokes start? Generally with a racially insensitive stereotype.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Whats worst than getting screwed. Your mother

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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whos gay? you are

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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Sit on Santas lap Boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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