Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Kah-________-

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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