How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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who eats pencils asians

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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ha.

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a joke.

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops