How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

thumb_up thumb_down +17

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ugh good riddance

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops