Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Chuck Norris died.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Justin Bieber is a talented singer.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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women's rights.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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