A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black guy with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops