Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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8

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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knock knock go away ok

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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where are you?

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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