How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Your mother

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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22

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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