Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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