Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Knock knock What

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Turn around.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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