Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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¸Knock Knock whos there Penis penis who your family has penis cancer

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knock knock

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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