Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was jimmy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +37

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your social life

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did Max cry??? chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops