A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

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Whats worst than the world ending? Charlie Sheen Not Winning

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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