Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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