Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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http://Youtube.com/User/PeGamer22

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... Knock Knock.... I guess no ones home.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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