Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops