A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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What's dead? Your mum.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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h

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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