Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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What is the difference between a duck?

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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