man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

you will now laugh.

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

BWAT

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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