What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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8

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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womens rights

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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